Walking away from Drama

There comes a time in your life when you walk away from all the drama

 and the people who create it.

Surround yourself with people who make you laugh.

Forget the bad and focus on the good.  

Love those who treat you good and pray for those who don't

Life is too short to be anything but happy.  

Falling down is a part of life 

but getting up again is living.

By Jose Harris.

For those who love a sex offender or who are on the registry, you are probably well aware about life and drama.  Learning to deal with the drama that comes from the label of sex offender is key to living a life that is abundant despite the ongoing flak you may receive from others.  

It seems like to me, every time I go online or pick up the news paper than is some article about sex offenders, sexual abuse, or porn.  One might begin to think that sex offenders are lurking behind every tree or fence just waiting to jump out, grab you and  molest you.  This type of thinking seems to lead to people being paranoid and angry at those" predators" that the media keeps telling them about.  

This is especially true when you are reading article comments online.   Reading the comments posted online by some people in society are enough to leave a dirty feeling in your mouth and crush an already fragile spirit that some of us may have.  I find its best to avoid reading disheartening comments or getting into a spitting match with people who can only be brave and say what they think when they have the cloak of anonymity  that the Internet provides.  There are times when my emotional strength and spitfire are at a good enough level that I will say something with the intent of hopefully getting someone to think even for a minute about the long term consequences of the way society treats sex offenders.  I don't know if its ever planted a seed in someones heart?  I hope it has.  Still, walking away from people who purposely antagonize is good if you want less drama in your life.  

Sometimes we have to walk away from family.  I know from my own experience that  family can be the ones who are upfront with their opinion that you are nothing and will never amount to much and you can't change.  Not my my family by the way, but I have seen others whose family talks about them in the most negative way.

While we may blame drama on other people, places or things, perhaps the biggest culprit for drama in our lives, may be that thing resting on top of our neck.  The thing known as your head.  I think so much of what we experience, whether its drama, pleasure, pain, happiness, fear, anger is all because of how you look at things.

How often do you play negative tapes inside your head.  You know the voices inside your head that tell you whether you are any good or not.  Say you get a 90% on a test.  For some of us, we will hear a voice that says "Can you believe you missed those questions, you are so stupid, those were really easy questions.  You are never gonna succeed because you can't do anything right. 

 Still for another person who gets a 90%, maybe they are saying to themselves, Whoo Hoo, 90%, that is so awesome!  Great job.  Those questions I missed, no big deal, bet they would've stumped Einstein.  Man, I totally rocked that test!  I am gonna do better on the next one.  Same scenario, two different trains of thoughts.  Which person do you think is going to be your happier person?   Who do you thinks their life is full of drama?  Who do you think is more stressed out? 

Something I don't get is the attitude that a person can't change.  That once you are such and such, you are always such and such.  The cliches such as a leopard can't change his spots;  Once a cheater, always a cheater; Sex offenders can't change;  You can't teach an old dog new tricks give credence to such thinking.

I don't know, I just refuse to subscribe to this theory.  If we can't change as people, then what would be the point of getting up and trying again.  It would be pointless, a waste of time.

I think once you start believing that certain people cannot change, you begin to lose your own personal power.  I think that this is why I refuse to believe others can't change.  I am not perfect and there are plenty of things about myself that I want to improve.  I want to give myself every reason to pursue the vision in my heart.  I wouldn't be able to do this, if I thought that change is not possible.  

 Its true even for those of us who love a sex offender.  We can allow this situation to age us or we can search for solutions and ways to live a better life.  We can either believe that we are capable of change and show the world that just because you are a sex offender or love a sex offender, it doesn't mean you are less than any one else.  I can't not stress enough, our past does not equal our future.  

On the other hand, we can listen to the media and those around us and allow their negative beliefs become the voices in our heads, telling us that we are worthless and that we would be better off dead or in jail.That we or someone we love is just going to re offend.  I firmly believe that if we allow those thoughts to take root, we will end up going down a path that is littered with tears and failures. 

My friends, be strong, be brave.  Know that you are not alone in this world.  Know that you can have the life you dream of.