The Darkness
The Darkness Engulfs me,
I am lost now.
A small smile appears on my face,
My friends, buying it for the time.
I've died in side.
I am crying my heart out.
I wish I could physically die.
My soul cries as
the darkness
carries
me
away.
My poem to Olivia
How do I stop the darkness?
How do I set you free?
Can I find you before it's too late?
Can I save you before darkness is your
forever fate?
I want to see you really
smile.
I miss the joy that was yours for
a while.
I know wishing you could die,
for I have felt the longing
too.
But I don't want to live life
without you.
You and your sister are the lights in
my life.
Even as you are dark, you still bring sunshine
to my soul.
I love you and miss you.
Please come back now, don't
go.
As a parent raising the child of a RSO, I worry about the impact that having her dad gone again is having. I feel powerless to stop her pain and help seems out of reach. Those going through this, know the struggle of trying working to support your family and keep it all together. Things slip through the cracks....
I wonder if this is something that needs to be evaluated or will she out grow it? Perhaps its something she inherited from my side of the family. Seems both me and my sister liked to write poems about sadness, death and darkness we felt inside when we were teens.
Statistics show us that children who grow up in a home with a parent in prison, tend to have more problems. Problems like poor self esteem, alcohol/drug addictions, early sexual experiences, involvement in violent relationships, difficulty in school etc. Many of them end up in jail themselves.
Why is this? Is it genetics? Is it simply environment? Are they modeling behaviors and thinking of their parents? Is it because of the broken family unit? Is it because they are more likely to live in poverty or near poverty? Is it because one parent cannot do it all; work, nurture, pay bills, keep house, be a taxi cab, be both mother and father and still be there emotionally, physically and spiritually for their children?
How do we keep our little ones from following in our footsteps? How can we lift them out of the hole we ourselves are in? How can we give them a better life when we are so tied down with the baggage we carry? How can we teach them better thinking? Thoughts and beliefs that that leads to love and success?
Should we leave our spouse who is incarcerated? Maybe it's their fault and if we get as far away as possible we can keep them from jinxing us. Perhaps a new spouse, a new family will solve the problem?
Will standing by our spouse, help? Is loving them through thick and thin, accepting them for who they are, the answer?
Maybe buying them gifts and letting them do what they want, because of the guilt and inadequacy we feel, will make them happy. Maybe going to church and surrounding them with other people who can love them and support them is an answer as well.
What do you think is the answer?
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