My Vision

As a frequent  and unwilling 3rd party guest of the judicial system, there are a few changes I would like made.
I would like it to be as much about rehabilitation as it is about punishment.  I would like more re entry programs for offenders and their families.

Since my husband served his full time, when he was last released, there was no re entry program or additional support for him when he came home.  We managed, but it tough.  We made a lot of decisions that in hind sight were rash and premature because of our desire to get going in life.  We had been trapped in limbo for so long that we were in a big hurry.  I wonder if some of the decisions we made played a part in where we are today.  We may never know.

If I was given a wishing star that allowed me to design a program to deal with offenders this is what I would create.  First off, my goal would be the long term success of each inmate and family members.  I would want people to successfully complete the program and know that they would go on to do wonderful things.  Can you imagine going to prison or being labeled a sex offender and coming out on the other side feeling more blessed than when you got into trouble?
So you are done with the trial and court proceedings.  The judge is determining the sentence.  Step one lets get a sentencing consultant involved. Have them interview the defendant and their family.  Find out what they think their weaknesses and strengths are. What are the contributing factors to the crime.  Help the judge come up with a sentence that fits the crime, but doesn't go over board on the punishment.
I think I would do a brain scan (spect scan to be exact) and have a specialist look at the results to determine if there is an underlying physical reason for the actions.  Do they have low activity in the prefrontal cortex?  Do they have  an over active limbic region on the brain?  Are there medications that can help normalize these areas? (Google Daniel G Amen, Change your brain, Change your life.  I controversial but I think definitely he is on the right track).  What if the solution is as simple as correcting brain chemistry and behavioral therapy.  Sort of like if your bone is broken, you reset it and then strength it with physical therapy.  While I know that is rather simplistic...maybe in some cases it is that simple.
 Depending on the length on the sentence and recommendations of the sentencing consultant, would determine the type of programs that would be requested that you participate in.  You have a choice.  If you don't want to participate in programs, then don't.  Its a free will program.
Together the sentencing consultant, defendant and family would meet and discuss what the outcomes/ goals are and how best to achieve them.   I would offer standard classes on drug and alcohol addiction, as well as offer family therapy.  I would do victim impact classes and have offenders think about impact their actions have had on others and themselves.
 Yearly, an intense workshop based on Anthony Robbins...seminars would be held.  Family and defendants would be invited to attend.  The goal would be to help them to focus on the developing their own personal power.
 I would have a financial planning program that is similar to Dave Ramsey's financial university program, but it would be tailored to addressing concerns most prevalent to those who are incarcerated or those who have  a loved one who is incarcerated.
Upon release I would create a safety net.  Each person who is leaving doc would be given several sponsors or coaches.  The goal would be that they have someone who is doing well and can guide and give advice to ex inmates and their families.  They would work with the inmate planning the discharge 1 year prior to leaving.  Getting them to think and plan for the future. They would give them a sounding board that hopefully would help reduce the incidence of rash decisions that are made.
 For sex offenders in CT, there isn't much support even in the way of half way houses because it's considered a violent crime.  I am not sure I like half way houses to begin with, because I really think family needs to be more involved when possible.     Still just the fact, that they don't have half way houses for sex offenders is just one more flaw in the re entry program.
I would have housing available to offenders and their families if they needed it.  Housing is an issue for sex offenders and their families because of the restrictions most states have on where they can live, who can live with them.  It doesn't have to be free housing, just housing that is available should they need it.  Housing where they can feel safe and the community can feel safe as well.  I would set up housing out in the country and then offer transportation to the suburbs for necessities and work until they were on their feet again.
I would loosen up the restrictions for what sex offenders can do with their families. I think they need to be able to go to the park with their children, if they have children.  I think they need to be able to go to school functions with their child. We are creating more problems in the long run by isolating the children of sex offenders because we make it so difficult for them to be a parent. Supervise these social events if the community feels its necessary, but stop the isolation.
I would make sure there are offender self support groups similar to AA and NA.   The first 2-3 years seem to be the most critical.  Perhaps there should be more support for ex prisoners during this time period, but not with the critical eye that is you mess up you are going back to prison that you get with  probation or parole.  The idea is to get people to make positive choices for positive reasons, not just because they are avoiding fear, unless of course that is the only way they can motivate themselves.
I would want ex prisoners and their  families to see a counselor who can monitor behaviors and thinking that might be leading them back in a direction that they really would like to avoid.  While it doesn't have to be free, it would be helpful if we could devise creative ways to make it accessible to people without them breaking the bank.
I think if things are free, people take them for granted.  Everything has a price to pay, but it doesn't always have to be in the form of money.
What I have described is something of what I would like to begin working for.  A sex offender prevention and treatment program designed by people who are not working for the criminal justice system, but whose interest is in making society a better place in general.  People who passionately want to see their loved ones succeed and those they love to be safe as well.  I think a program that is designed by sex offenders and their families along with incorporating universal laws and truths would be more effective than any government run program ever will be.

I hope if there is anyone who reads this who believes that change is possible for offenders and who would like to join forces, I hope you will make contact. " United we stand, divided we fall"

Questions that I hope will get us through

I wrote my first letter to him today.  I am not able to express my undying love or commitment to seeing this through.  I can only say, that I will take this one day at a time.  In this letter, I asked him to think about questions that I hope will help us become stronger and have a better future.  That will make this journey not something to hate but something that in the end we will say..this was a blessing.

 What do you want?
My answers;  I want a life we can be proud of.  I want a life that is full of love, laughter, passion, freedom, money and fun.  I want to help others find freedom of health: mentally, emotionally and physically.

How can we grow from this?
  We can grow by making a commitment to growing and learning, by deciding that we are worthy of love. We are worthy of a successful life.  We can grow by examining our beliefs and deciding if they are true or not
What is great about all this?
It forces us to stop running. It allows us to see each other, your children can see you.  It gives us time to rethink, re plan and start over again
What can I be happy about if I wanted to be happy?
We are safe, we can talk.  Our children are healthy, we have no funerals to attend today.  We are alive, we haven't given up.

How can we face this without fear?
By focusing on what we want and where we want to go.  By seeing it as it is but not making it worse than it has to be. By acting like we aren't afraid.  By believing and focusing on what we can do.  By taking control of our thoughts and our emotional states,

What can we do differently this time?
We can keep from  feeling trapped and down.  We can use the time granted to us wisely.

Who do you want to be?
I want to be smart, loving, healthy, strong, beautiful and kick-ass. I want to be generous and financially independent.  I want to be a healer.

Who are you?
I am someone that that can't be defined. I fit no labels. I am serious and silly. I am strong and weak. I am free, but a prisoner. I am smart, but naive. I am a dreamer, and a realist.  I am whatever I want to be this day.

Who are we?
I am still trying to figure that out.  We are a couple, we are strong and weak. We are apart, but still connected. We have cracks in our relationship, but we are not destroyed.

Where to you want to go in life?
I want to go forward, I want to change the world.  I want to change how society views sex offenders. I want to find ways to help sex offenders and their families. 

How can we become financially stronger?
By careful planning, by being creative and by not giving up.  We can set boundaries.  We can find other ways to earn money
How can we strengthen our relationship?
We have to make a commitment to it and put aside our fears. By being ourselves, whether we  think we are weak, strong, ugly, pretty, silly or serious.  By giving hope and understanding to one another. 

How can we create trust?
By deciding to trust.  By practicing trust. By deciding that the person we trust won't leave us.  By being honest though its scary as hell.
What is our goals?
To get through this to the best of our abilities.  To allow this to change us and harden our resolve to be more than the world thinks that we are.  To create a paradigm shift about sex offenders and their families

These answers I wrote are sure to change as time goes one.  The questions are sure to change as well.  

Gone Again

I got the phone call today,

Honey I'm sorry, but I am locked away.

My heart pounding, my hands shaking.

The news sinks in...my heart is breaking,

The memory of the past begins to flood 

over me.

The clanging doors, the loneliness, the collect calls- is this to be?

I swore not again, I don't want to go through this

all over again,

You're a prisoner -

I am prisoner

held captive by my love for you,

I really believed that our time with DOC was through

I feel so alone, 

so on my own

No one I know to tell the news to,

No one who cares like I do..

Powerless is what I feel,

powerless to stop the pain, powerless

to heal,.

Unable to stop what I know you have to face

Powerless to help you with your legal case.,

Loneliness and sadness fills my heart,

picturing how the life we planned

is falling apart.

So many times I have thought about leaving...but I haven't

because I haven't stopped believing.

Believing in you, believing in me, 

I haven't yet stopped seeing how life could

be.,

New chapter...He is captured

Just a couple of days ago when I went to bed, I was praying one of those prayers that I think those who aren't sure if their marriage is worth continuing pray.  I don't pray this type of prayer all the time.  Mainly it seems to come out when I am upset or worried about something and don't know what to do because  I am torn between about what decisions to make.  Mainly do I stay in this marriage or do I get out of it?  I love him but I am so frigging tired of it all.   The words aren't exact, but come close.   "Dear God, I don't think I can continue to do this.  I didn't hear from him all day.   Please do something about this situation.  Take this marriage, its yours to with it as you please."  Its ironic that I pray at all because I don't go church or practice any type of religion.  I just find talking and believing in this power greater than myself helps me to be able to detach from situations that are giving me pain so that I am able to sleep or focus on something else.  Knowing that I don't have to make a decision or be in charge of the problem helps.  
I was upset because I hadn't heard from my husband all day.  I got one text that said his day was going slow because some guy didn't show up to work.  Then nothing the whole day. I did get several phone calls from numbers I didn't recognize.  I didn't answer them because I figured they were bill collectors and I was not in the mood to talk about when I would be sending them money.  By the time I went to bed, my thoughts were getting kind of crazy.  Do you think he has gone back to doing drugs?  I bet he is.  Maybe he is with some other woman and that's why he isn't calling.  I don't think he really loves me.  How can he, he hasn't called me.  I don't know if you can relate to this kind of thinking.  It comes quite naturally to me.
The next morning, I got up a few minutes earlier than usual and decided to listen to my voice mail.  Listening to my voice mail is something I don't usually do because I dislike it so much.  Normally people who leave me messages are not people I want to talk to; like bill collectors.  God, I hate those calls.  I played through the messages,  A couple from work, some are from the my daughters school because she has been out sick.  The last one is from my husband. " Hi Honey,  Ma is in the hospital she had a heart attack (I knew this already because my brother in law called last night and updated me on what was going one)  The next sentence was mumbled and I didn't catch it all and then he ended it by saying, I am so sorry about about all of this".  I am like wait, back up the message, sorry about what?  So I replayed the message," Hi Honey, Ma is in the hospital, the us marshals picked me up and I am on my way back to CT.  I am so sorry about all this"
That one sentence caused my heart to drop and my body to start to tremble and shake.  From there everything that was going on in my head is a blur.  I felt numb and in shock.  I didn't want it to go this way.  I wanted him to earn enough money to get a lawyer and turn himself in.  I don't honestly know if he would have ever done that.  It was his plan, but it seemed to be taking forever. I know the longer he is gone, the longer we will be apart because it really will never be safe to be with him, knowing that eventually the past will catch up with us.  I didn't I want our children to get used to having him around, only to have him yanked out of lives again.  This way, we are used to him being gone and so him going to jail now doesn't really affect our day to day lives unless we allow it.

Part of me was relieved that he was captured because now maybe I can see him if I want too.  I can get a hug and a kiss once in a while.  With him on the run, I  could never see him and I only talked to him when he chose to call.  Now we can or he can face what he has been running from.  I know facing this situation is not going to be easy.   There are so many things that could happen, most of them not good.
Since I have been through this he is going to jail bit in the past, I didn't break down or get hysterical.  At this point, it sucks, but I already know that allowing myself to get really upset doesn't help anything.  So I continue with my routine of getting ready for work.  On the way to work, I allow myself to cry a little bit.  Crying is good because I don't do it often.  So often my tears are locked up deep inside.  Over the years I have become very adept not feeling very much.
I make it through work in a haze for most of the day.  Of course, this turns out to be the day that a co worker fainted and a patient went unconscious while having a tooth pulled.  I really wanted to share with a co worker what is going on, because everything just seems so overwhelming (kids are sick, husband in jail and mother in law has a heart attack and bone cancer).,. turned out this co worker was out for the day.  I ended up sharing the news with some women online who face similar situations.  It helps to be able to say honestly about what is going on in your life and not feel judged because of who you love.
Eventually he called collect and we were able to talk a few minutes about what happened.  Apparently, he was looking for work and gave his drivers license to some potential employer.  The next day about 12 US Marshalls and deputy sheriffs surrounded him at a campground he was staying the night at.  Part of me wonders if he gave his drivers license because unconsciously he wanted to get caught?  I mean...if you are on the lam, you know you want to be very careful about anyone running your name for anything.  I don't really know what he was thinking on that day.  Maybe he was really hungry and looking for work...
The second day, some of the strategies that Tony Robbins speaks about started to creep into my consciousness.  On the way to work, even though I still felt sad and despondent, I started to ask myself questions like How can we make this situation into something that makes us stronger?  How can we grow from this?  What can I feel happy about?  What is great about today?  (the drive into work was beautiful because of the freshly fallen snow making it seem like I was in a winter fairyland)  How can we make our relationship stronger and thrive?  How can we do things differently and better than we did the last time?  How can we use this to help make the world a better place for sex offenders and their families?   By changing my thoughts from sadness and despair and focusing on questions that are positive,  I found myself starting to feel upbeat and hopeful.   I really felt the power of asking positive questions has on a persons mind.  By taking the focus off of my fear I was able to enjoy the day which can be hard to do for those who have a loved one who is incarcerated.
 Course, I have it easier than he does because I am not locked up.  I have some control over my day, while he has lost that external control.  I think when you are locked up, you have to seek internal focus and control.  How can you control your thinking to make the best of the situation?

How do I?

"We are what we think.

All that we are arises

With our thoughts.

With our thoughts,

We make our world."

The Buddha

Come Christmas, it will have been two years since my family was split apart again.   My husband and I remain separated, not so much from desire to be apart, but mainly from his overwhelming desire to not go back to prison for any reason and my refusal to move our children out to where he is, knowing that eventually the inevitable will happen (he gets caught and goes back to jail).  I can't say I blame him for not wanting to go back.  Still....the longer he runs away from it, the longer we stay in limbo like this, the more likely this family will stay permanently fractured.
Situations like ours, are complicated and difficult to explain to the average person.  It's difficult to explain what goes on in your head.  What was black and white, say 15 years ago, isn't so crystal clear when you have been through hell once already and face the prospect of going through it again.
How do you explain to people, or even to yourself why you love someone who to so many people seems like scum.  (I hate that word....I don't believe anyone is scum... I just don't).  How do you explain to people that you love someone, but you don't know what is best for them, your family or for you?  How do you explain to others, that you want to move on, that you want to find someone new to love, but you don't know how to, because that other person is your best friend?  That other person knows you like no one else does. Love is not a water faucet that you can turn off and on at will.
 How can a person even think about getting involved with other people when ones life is so complicated?  I can just picture myself talking to some other man and having to explain to them.  I am married, but separated.  My husband is gone, but we talk still. He is a sex offender... I am lonely and want someone to ease that loneliness.  I am tired of managing my family on my own and would like some help.  I am sure that conversation would cause a man to run away as fast as they could.  Who wants that kind of complicated life?   This shows that I have a belief that men, people will reject me when I share the truth with them.  I think there is a belief in me that  most people don't like me, don't love me, won't accept me for who I am.  I have one person that does and so I hold onto that person like a drowning person holds on to a buoy.  Letting go of him, means being almost completely alone in the world. (I have my children and family, but it's not the same type of love that you get from a lover)
One reason that makes it so difficult to  end a relationship such as the one that we have is due to our belief systems.
 I believe that there are too many broken families in the world and that families are the bedrock of a healthy society.  I believe that families need to be nourished and made stronger instead of weaker.
We promised each other that we wouldn't get divorced.  I said I wouldn't make the first move, he said he wouldn't make the first move.  I promised my children I wouldn't divorce their father.  I promised him I would love him no matter what.  Promises like these are not meant to be broken.  I didn't cross my fingers when I made them.
 On the one hand I believe that marriage is for better and for worse, for richer, for poorer, through the good times, through the bad times.  I don't think I have a  real deal breaker for me.  I believe I was taught that the word divorce is not an option when you are married. I think I must really believe that love conquers all and that some how, some way we can get through this and come out better stronger people because of all these experiences.  I believe that we can break this cycle.  I believe we can help others keep from going through this situation or show them how to get through a situation like this, once we have gone through it.
 These beliefs conflict internally with the beliefs that I deserve better, that marriage shouldn't just mean complete loneliness and shame.
I want to be with my husband, but I believe that moving my children away from their brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, grandparents, school, friends, and all the other little things that we have that give our life stability is more important than being with their father.  I believe fathers are important and should be in their children's lives, which is why we visited him ever chance we had when he was in prison the first go around, but that this stigma of having a father who is a RSO is a huge cross for children and spouses to bear.  I think of him being back home and having to go back on the registry again in this state where we live currently.  I think of the difficulty of not letting my girls have friends come over here to hang out.  I think of that conversations that we would have to have with the school should he ever want to go to their school functions.  We have avoided these conversations with people, with schools.  How do you go and look someone in the eye and explain to them I am a sex offender? How do you explain that I love a sex offender without people thinking something is seriously wrong with you.  How do you stop caring what others think?   How do you explain to others your situation.  If you are like me, you don't, because I don't ,
can't face rejection.  I don't think he can either.  Instead I avoid. I avoid getting close to people.  He pretends to be something other than himself.   How do you keep your heart from getting broken when people reject you because of it.  For some of us, rejection is so very difficult to handle, that we will do almost anything to keep from feeling rejected. I think this has something to do with our values.  What is most important to you?  The things that are most important to us, we protect at all costs.
 I believe the harm that would come to them, our girls, emotionally to have him ripped out of their lives again when the past catches up with him is worse than living without him physically.
I believe that divorce hurts so many more people than just the two getting divorced.  It damages your family, his family, and your mutual friends,

I share some of my beliefs with you, to show how frozen we can be when we have conflicting beliefs.  We want to be together, but then again we really don't because of the pain that we now associate with being together as a family.  When we went through this the first time, we didn't have all these pain associations that we have now.  This is why our actions are different this time around.  We didn't have conflicting beliefs when we were fifteen years younger that we have now.  Like they say, once bitten, twice shy.
I believe that as long as our beliefs, continue to be in conflict, we will not have the resolution that we desire and we will all be stuck in this limbo.  I believe that by talking about this...in a place where I won't be rejected face to face, I can look at my beliefs and decide if they are beliefs that I should continue to believe in or should they be replaced.
What are your beliefs?  Do you know how your belief system shapes your actions?  Would you mind sharing?
Blessings....

Freaky little perverted children playing doctor

I don't know the whole story and maybe some of what I read was taken out of context when I read the news article that accused Lena Dunham of sexual abuse because of some things that happened between her and her sister when they were young.  If what she shared constitutes as sexual abuse then maybe we ought to turn every child who does any exploration of their body or the bodies over to the authorities and have them charged as sexual offenders.  We should then put them all on the registered sex offender list.
It brought up some memories of when I grew up.  I guess sexual exploration cannot happen until you reach the magical age of 17 or something like that.  I guess the children I grew up around where young sexual abusers because of the things that they did, that we did.
I remember when I was about  6 my parents dropped me off at the babysitters house.  I went into the bedroom of her two young sons, I think the older one was about 5 and the younger one around 4 and their female cousin was about 5.  They were in the closet "playing doctor."  Playing doctor involved putting piece of toilet paper into their privates and kissing each other.  I was a little bit shocked at what was going on, but I didn't think it was "evil" or that they were abusing each other.  I think I probably giggled a little bit about the whole thing and then probably threatened to tattle on them.  I don't remember if I did or not.  I think they pulled up their clothes and we all probably went back to playing.

Another a time, I went over to a classmates house when I was in kindergarten.  My friend said she would show me hers, if I would show her mine?  I didn't really know what she was talking about till she unzipped her pants and pulled down her underwear.  I felt obliged to copy her.  I guess we both should've been locked up for impairing the morals of a minor.  I think we spent about 10 seconds looking at each other, then we pulled up our pants and began playing with Barbie Dolls.

Speaking of Barbie dolls, there is a sex toy if there ever was one! At least if you are a young child.  Recently I have been reading the book Madonna Unauthorized and  it mentions some of the naughty things that Madonna did with her barbie dolls.  Out of all the things that Madonna has done, this was something I could relate to.  I remember playing with my Barbie dolls, and having them kiss each other naked and what not. It created small sexual stirrings even at the young age of 5 or so.  Do you think that these sexual stirrings meant I was a pervert even at such a young age?  Do you think it indicates that maybe I was sexually abused already and didn't know it?  My recollection of molestation didn't occur till I was around 8 or 9?  Somehow even at the age of 5 I felt shame and embarrassment about these feelings I was having when I played Barbie dolls.  I always played in secret. I wonder if my parents knew that this is why Ken and Barbie were always naked and I couldn't find their clothes?

Then I got to be older around the age of 13 and my girlfriend and her younger brothers and maybe some other friends decided to go skinny dipping in the local river.  I suppose that too was indecent exposure and if the police had found us, they would have arrested us and thrown away the key.  Would we all be on the registry then?  I can't believe how many things I did just as a child that could have landed me the title of sex offender, especially if I lived in today's society.
What about you?  Did you do anything that would be considered perverted and sex offenderish in to days civilized society?

Honestly I think we are getting too carried away with what is sexual abuse and what is not.  What I did or what we did I don't think as sexual offenses because we were all the same age and consenting at that time.  We were peers...the playing ground was equal.  No one was forced to do anything.  Now when I was older and my best friend at that time who was 6 years older than me, he molested me when He made me participate in sexual activities that I didn't want to participate in because they made me uncomfortable.  I told him no and he didn't listen.  I consider these incidents sexual molestation.  I don't hate him and I don't think he is evil or a bad person.  I think he was a mixed up kid who needed help.  He didn't get the help that he needed (I don't think it was available back then any way) and now as an adult has suffered because of it.
 My most fervent heartfelt prayer is that we stop treating sex offenders like they are evil, but instead find ways for healing for all.

Who really loves Honey Boo Boo?

I guess you would have to be living under a rock to not have heard the ruckus caused by the rumor that the  mother of Honey Boo(reality TV show Here comes Honey Boo-Boo) might be dating a sex offender. According to what I have read in the news TLC has cancelled the show to protect the children.  They are "worried about the well being of the minors of the show"  Some how by cancelling the show they have taken the moral high ground and are looking out for the welfare of this child and her sisters?
 Somehow by dating a sex offender Honey Boo Boos mother is unethical and immoral?  This is their reasoning on why they won't fully compensate " Mama June" for the work she has done on the show.

Tell me how does this protect the child?  I think it's more about TLC trying to protect their bottom line by not being associated with anything that has the social stigma of "sex offender".  Heaven forbid a reality show, actually show the truth when it's not socially acceptable or the truth that unpopular. At least be honest about it, Your concern is not about the child or her sisters but about public opinion.  You are entitled as a company to do what you feel is in the best interest of your investors and financial base, but please don't hide the truth with the thinly veiled cloak that you are protecting this minor.  Face it, you want to distance TLC from this PR disaster as fast as you can.
If the reporter who first heard about the possibility that Mama June was dating an unsavory character, really wanted to protect Honey Boo-Boo, instead of releasing this news to a company like TMZ,  you may have just voiced your concerns to the sex offenders probation/parole officer.  Maybe you would have contacted their local CPS and said Hey, I have concerns that a sex offender may have had contact with this minor.  That in itself would have been enough to initiate an investigation by the powers that be.  Then it would be up to the law to investigate and determine what was going on and whether any laws were being broken.  Did you really need to put this into a media maelstrom?  I understand they are celebrities, but still I think in matters like this knowing how the public reacts with knee jerk reaction that it could have been handled more discreetly.  That would have been putting the children first.
How does submitting this young child to the media scrutiny of such an issue as this help her?  How does taking away her income or the income of her mother help her?
I am pretty sure that this man's probation or parole officer is capable of determining if this man has violated the conditions of his parole or probation.  If he hasn't, then is it our business who "Mama June" dates?  If she dates him and doesn't have him hanging out with her children, then is it immoral still?  Just because she is dating someone does that automatically mean they consent to be on the reality TV show?   Do you think this man who hasn't even been out of jail for a year was like "Yep, I want to go back to jail by hanging out with someone and their kids."  I bet there are more sex offenders who feel like running the other way when they consider getting involved with someone who has children because they know that violating their parole or probation this way is a pretty much automatic back to jail card.

If you ask me, if people really wanted to "protect the children", they would be concerned about the family unit.  How does tearing down the family by the media help protect this child?  How does the threat "CPS is going to take your children away from you, really help the children?  Do you think that separating child from a parent or parents who  love that child really helps?  I can see separating children from parents who are actively abusing their children as a good reason for separation with the goal of getting help and then reunifying the family once it is safe, under the guidance of a well qualified counselor.
Uncle Poodle is also simply just looking out for Honey Boo-Boo by taking to FaceBook to air his complaints against her mother.  Yep, that shows love.  Yes, he loves his niece so much that he thinks the best thing for her is to live with him instead of her living with her sister and her mother.  Is that seriously what you think is the best interest for these children?
As a parent I thought stability and unconditional love were some of  the cornerstones of doing your  best for your children.  If my children were taken from me or if I died I would want  my two daughters kept together until they were of the legal age where they could make their own decisions.
Now if I was TLC and I wanted to be a forward thinking reality show producer that pushed the envelope, I would make a reality TV show chronicling the lives of sex offenders and their families.  Let society really get to know them.  Are they really the big bad monsters of this day and age or are they regular people like you?
Ah, that is the scary part, when you realize there really is no difference between a sex offender and yourself.  Humans, we are capable of all sorts of evil, each and every one of us.  That is a belief that most of us would rather stay blind too.
The sex offender, he did his time.  He paid his price to society.  I know for many people they don't think that doing prison time is enough of a punishment,.  They would rather just see sex offenders killed and tortured because somehow that makes up for what happened?  They think that social isolation and stigmatization some how makes society a safer place to be?  They think separating families makes society a safer and better place?  They think that by making children of sex offenders feel shame about their families helps in some way.  This thinking...I don't get.
I keep coming back to the thought that sexual abuse is more wide spread than what we want to believe.  If you could just magically kill everyone who sexually abused someone in some way, most of the worlds population might just disappear. Where would we be then?  What if that left society with mostly just woman and children and a few men?   I honestly believe that there is an answer out there to help change the outcome of sexual abuse for the abuser and the abused and it doesn't involve hatred and killing.  If anything if involves encouraging people to constant seek to improve their own lives.  It involves striving for ultimate health and balance in all areas of our lives.  It's about building people up rather than tearing them down.