As you may see, I don't have a profile to view. The main reason for that is that I need to protect the privacy of my family. Being married to a sex offender is complicated. First off there is the registered sex offender registry. It's hard enough for sex offenders to be on it, because it segregates you from other people, as well as makes people look at you with suspecion. I get that we want to protect our children and we think that if there is a list of all the boogy men out there if will help because we can avoid them. I wish it was so. Trust me, I want to protect my children as much as the next person. I know from experience that "a list" isn't going to protect them any more than flapping my arms is going to make me a bird.
As a wife of a sex offender, I know the shame and guilt that I feel just by association. There are things you don't tell people unless you really trust them and know they are not going to judge you or your love for the sex offender. There are a few, precious few people that I will share openly with. It's easier to share openly on a blog because I can't see your reactions, its not in my face. I only hope that everyone who does share, does so with respect and tactfulness.
Supporting your family can be difficult when you are a rso because not many people want to hire some body who on that list. Its unfortunate because not having employment only continues to hurt the family that is trying to recover. Dad (majority of rso are men) can't get work to support his family. Wife or significant other or government has to support family, causing additional shame, guilt and pressure on the rso. Rso continues to feel less than everyone else. Like this wasn't a problem already. Feelings of being overwhelmed and not being able to provide continue to esculate affecting everyone in the family.
For children living and loving a rso. If they know and understand what dad went to jail for, there is that shame and fear. Will it happen again, will it happen to me. What will happen to my family? Will I lose my dad again?
Life in general is complicated, love is complicated, try adding being on the registry to that mix and you have the recipe for a life that is not easy for all involved to say the least
As a wife of a sex offender, I know the shame and guilt that I feel just by association. There are things you don't tell people unless you really trust them and know they are not going to judge you or your love for the sex offender. There are a few, precious few people that I will share openly with. It's easier to share openly on a blog because I can't see your reactions, its not in my face. I only hope that everyone who does share, does so with respect and tactfulness.
Supporting your family can be difficult when you are a rso because not many people want to hire some body who on that list. Its unfortunate because not having employment only continues to hurt the family that is trying to recover. Dad (majority of rso are men) can't get work to support his family. Wife or significant other or government has to support family, causing additional shame, guilt and pressure on the rso. Rso continues to feel less than everyone else. Like this wasn't a problem already. Feelings of being overwhelmed and not being able to provide continue to esculate affecting everyone in the family.
For children living and loving a rso. If they know and understand what dad went to jail for, there is that shame and fear. Will it happen again, will it happen to me. What will happen to my family? Will I lose my dad again?
Life in general is complicated, love is complicated, try adding being on the registry to that mix and you have the recipe for a life that is not easy for all involved to say the least
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